Reflections of my life

So sang The Marmalade some 40 years ago when I was mere, erm, dust (in the religious interpretation of the word).  Of course, I am fond of all the rock music from the 70s but I did not choose this title as a tribute to the golden age of the genre - I borrowed it simply because this is what I will do here, as I near my 30th birthday.

Probably 1 of these landmark years which truly marks the transition into adulthood.  Not that 20 does not fall in the adult realm but I would say that being legally recognised as an adult - i.e., with the right to vote, drink and drive (what joys) - does not imply the degree of maturity society expects from adults.  Especially in the context of being an undergraduate student, even in a relatively conservative university environment like Malta, where condom machines are not permitted and where there is virtually no need for students to 'leave home' and experience independent student living away from their childhood cocoon.

Probably life's biggest lessons which I have learnt so far were triggered by the fact that I have lived the greatest part of the last 6 years - my God, thinking about it is scary - in London, where for the first time I experienced the above: away from the comfort of home, having to worry about shopping and feeding and cleaning and other household aches, away from the luxury of a car at my doorstep and having to travel in a city which is several times bigger than my entire native country and striving to harmoniously live with people from 101 diverse backgrounds, cultures and ways of living which are acceptable in their own view but not necessarily in mine.  Where else would have this been possible?  Fair enough, any other major metropolis, say NYC, but Malta?  Not in a million years.  Unless the Mediterranean dries up and the Maltese landmass increases by some 1000% and suddenly not only North Africans but people of all nations 'move in'.

From what started off as a 12 month stay ended up being extended to a 3 year one and, in the meantime, it was no longer me but two of us here, hence the additional 2 years appended to the original 3.  Ironically, these 2 years might actually prove to be the most exciting of the lot, given that I am finally free from any formal schooling (about time, too) and with a new promising job in the pipeline.  But that is another story...the story here is a hi-story one and an egocentric one at that, where the subject is, quite simply, me.

What happened in these past 30 years?  What made me become me?  Perhaps this would need someone more qualified than me when it comes to psychology or anthropology but I will stick to what I think were the major milestones in my life, so far.  And it's quite a big chunk of that: optimistically, around 33.33%.  More realistically, almost 40%.  Unless, of course, the reaper catches an earlier train and calls beforehand...but let's not go there.  Here they are - reflections of my life:

1983
January, or thereabouts, I began this journey!  Not much I can say, until Saturday October 22nd, when I saw light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak, at St. Luke's Hospital, Pieta'.

1984
Halfway through summer of Orwell's infamous year I made my first steps.  Quite a milestone I would say, given that walking is probably the activity which I have done every single day in the past 30 years.  And a few months later, in the traditional Maltese quccija, I picked up the hammer.  Magistrate?  Carpenter?  With the benefit of hindsight, one could attribute the tool to construction in general.  Hence, the architect/structural engineer?

1985
Not much can I remember from here at this point, except from surprisingly vivid memories of my first Christmas and the effort which my parents, uncles and aunts made at re-interpreting the concept of Santa Claus delivering my presents via some other way other than the (non-existent) chimney, which I clearly pointed out.

1986
I would say that my most clear recollection from this year is listening to Madonna's "La isla bonita" and eventually "Who's that girl" which I would "sing" to my new-born sister in 1987.  There was no MTV, no YouTube, no Spotify and no iPods: only the radio which was the sole source of entertainment to my then-teenage aunt.  But perhaps this first exposure to music led to my later interest in this art?  I know what the reader is saying, "Seriously?  Madonna?"  But every cloud has its silver lining.

It would also be the year when I first went to kindergarten and presumably reinforced my knowledge of the alphabet and the numbers.  Elementary, true, but, at the end of the day, every single thing I have ever studied, read and/or written is a mere combination of these 10 digits and these 26 letters.  Period.  So quite an important academic year that was!

1987
The year my sister was born, which taught me a great lesson: that the world does not revolve around me (I learnt this before I heard of Galileo and his 'outrageous' theory that the earth is not the centre of the universe) but I need to share resources and respect the needs of others.  Possibly one of life's greatest lessons which sadly many do not adhere to in the real world, from a colleague sharing a bathroom at the office to multi-billionaires destroying acres of rainforest every day.

1988
This was a year of many firsts: first time out of Malta, first time on a plane, first time I had a McDonald's milkshake.  It was a relatively long trip in Germany, which brought also a number of disappointments: I was hoping to get a piece of cloud (but found that plane windows cannot be opened) and when visiting the Efteling fun park discovered that cartoon characters were not limited to hand-drawn entities but could also take the form of people dressed up in costumes.  On a more serious note, I finally realised that the world is way bigger than Malta, to the extent that while on a train, my first experience of paresthesia took place. Nothing serious, of course, but at the time I was terrified that I was nearing death, with the cause being the ingrowing 'cactus plant' from all my nail-biting, a "disease" which had been used (unsatisfactorily) by my parents, uncles and aunts to make me quit the vice (I eventually did but only in 2000 or so).

1989
My first year at De La Salle College or DLS, which provided all my primary and secondary education for an entire decade.  I would say that a few years after this point I started the intensive love-affair with Maltese history and architecture in particular, thanks to history lessons, which eventually led to my line of study.

In late 1989, I also started my music and piano tuition, which again led to an enduring passion which I maintain to this day.

1990
The year of my 2nd trip abroad (Italy, this time) at a time when the entire country was still feverish with Italia Novanta (or the 1990 World Cup), which brings to mind the many First Communion parties I was invited to during that summer, which often included TV sets with live matches.  And mentioning First Communions, of course I also had my own on 10th June, which was the first (and probably last) time I had a bespoke suit made for me!

1991
One particular event I recall from this year: my first ever visit to a construction site (the Malta International Airport, where my father worked as a materials analyst at the time).  I was completely overwhelmed by the vast size of the project, even back then.  My clear memory is of a wide expanse of a sea-like, blue-coloured plastic (which I now know is the damp proof membrane laid before the ground slab was cast) in what would later be the arrivals and departures lounges.  Probably it was the decisive moment when the die was cast and my fate as a structural engineer was sealed.

1992
I was only 8 at the time but I know it was the year when local general elections took place and it was probably the first time billboards were used (instead of the posters glued on buildings which I faintly remember from 1987).  I remember a PN slogan at the time including the word solidarjeta' or solidarity, which I had no idea at the time what it meant, but I then remember an incident during lunch time when 2 students were involved in a 'fight' and an elder student controlled the situation yelling, "Fejn hi s-solidarjeta'?" or "Where is the solidarity?" whilst other on-lookers made references to the said slogan.  It was perhaps the first time I realised that politics were serious (albeit 'grown-up') business; luckily I was never involved in the matters, until 1998...

1993
My first decade of life: I started my final year in primary school this year and it was very clear in my mind back then that I wanted to be "an architect, like Glormu Cassar", or the prolific 16th century Maltese architect responsible for building most of Valletta's public edifices.  It was a combination of many incidents - the airport visit, the exposure to and love of art in general, the history classes referred to earlier, my childhood experiences in the Kalkara valley and the vernacular architecture there - but it was a decision which influenced many later decisions, which (of course) I do not regret.

1994
As a consequence of the event in 1993, I started secondary school in 1994, which saw a transition from the 'junior school' to the 'senior school' and (less gloriously) no longer wearing shorts as part of the school uniform.  It was a radical shift in the schooling process, with my new subjects, including foreign languages, of which I never found any use at the time except for following Italian TV, but which became extremely handy many years down the line in my travels around Europe...

1995
One event comes to mind: the bicycle accident of 1st May, which left its mark on me (thankfully not physical) till this day.  I cannot try to ride a bike without feeling all my muscles stiffen and completely mishandling the vehicle.  I do not see any ways how this can be modified...

1996
I recall that I was in Form 3 (i.e. late 1996 or early 1997) that I had my first experience of the Internet at home.  Needless to say, it was via a dial-up connection using a 56k modem on a Pentium I 133MHz PC running Windows '95.  It is almost surreal to compare this seemingly archaic technology with the state-of-the-art digital advances.  I am not comparing the Airbus A380 with the Wright brothers - a century apart - but this is a mere 20 years ago.  I wonder what there can be beyond wireless and cloud technology...

1997
It was around this time that I realised that the end of secondary school is marked by sitting for 'O' Level exams.  It was a word I had vaguely heard during conversations about my elder cousins, which seemed not applicable to me at the time but which suddenly became an imminent reality I had to face too!

1998
Recalling the reference to Maltese politics under '1992' above, it was during this summer that I went to the first political mass meeting(s) which uniquely characterise electoral campaigns in Malta.  It was also when I decided that I will never attend such events again: I hate crowds and people (thinking about it, maybe I am claustrophobic?) and cannot fathom why one should go to such an event, particularly if during the hot and humid Maltese summer, when one can follow everything on TV from the comfort of home.  And why should I indicate which party's meeting am I going to when voting is all done in secret?  I never went to such events again (except on the E.U. accession celebrations in 2004...and a number of rock concerts) and never intend to do so in the future.

1999
And this was the year when I finished my 10 year stay at DLS, when I successfully sat for the famous 'O' Levels and when I started my 2 year (Sixth Form) stint at St. Aloysius College or SAC.  It was an eventful year, particularly summer, when I had my first experience of voluntary work, which taught me that there are some aspects of life which cannot be bought by money and are quite priceless.  Of course, us Christians believe that payment will be done in the afterlife, but let's keep things simple here...

The choice to go to SAC rather than stay at DLS was purely for the sake of change (besides the better reputation which SAC had, at least in my mind).  I have absolutely no regrets and they were 2 of the best years of my life.  The extra curricular activities I was engaged in - teen group, music group, Soiree - ensured that I never had a dull moment, amidst all the pure maths which became deeply engrained in me, alongside my ever-growing love for rock music and some friendships which developed at SAC which I hold dear till this day.

2000
The infamous millennium.  The millennium bug.  The Y2K.  The end of the world.  What I recall most from 2000 are the summer months, when I got my first (paid) job as a waiter in a local restaurant.  Besides all the protocol of silver services and many 'tricks of the trade', this working experience taught me the value of money and that the only ransom for money is hard work, whether it is physical or intellectual.

2001
Can anyone not remember where s/he was on 11/09/01?  I was having a nap and awoke to see the burning WTC North Tower and, sadly, just in time to see the 2nd plane hit the South counterpart.  The significance for me was the fact that it happened a few weeks away from my first day at university, where I finally enrolled on the architecture/civil engineering course.  The latter initially proved to be a sort of cultural shock, particularly drawing streetscapes and the whole lot after 2 years of pure maths and physics...

2002
Right after the new year, precisely on 03/01/02, I sadly experienced the first family death: that evening and rather suddenly the sole nannu I knew passed away.  Even 11 years on it is surreal to think that he passed to a better life exactly on the same day my other nannu had died 20 years earlier...

On a much happier note, 27/06/02 was the day (or night) when I started dating one of my colleagues from uni whom I had already known from SAC.  The years rolled on and, as they say, the rest is history.

On a lighter note, it was during this summer that I had my first car: the VW Polo Fox hatchback (FAA-821)!

2003
The second decade of my life.  Almost half way through my undergraduate degree, walking towards my professional goal in life.

2004
My very own annus horribilis.

My beloved nanna passed away on 12/02/04 quite literally in my hands, only 1 day after a rather terrible design review (which eventually became the only time I ever had an exam referral).  Just over 5 months later on 15/07/04, my uncle lost his decade-long, brave battle against cancer.

Two losses which left a deep impact on me, each in their own way.  On one hand, the fragility of life and how we live at the mercy of, well, fate.  On the other, how much family can never be underestimated, taken for granted or even unappreciated; luckily, it was not the case with nanna.  From that point onwards I knew I had to invest all the effort necessary to reach my goals and dedicate the achievement in their memory.

2005
It was during this year that I made the choice to choose to devote my final 2 years at uni focusing more on civil/structural engineering rather than architecture; a choice which seemed so obvious back then but which would eventually be responsible for further choices down the line, always from the educational and/or career point of view.  In retrospect, I do not think I would have chosen otherwise!

It was also during this summer that I worked as an architect/structural engineer for the first time during a summer placement at DeMicoli's in Portomaso.  What an experience that was - I probably learnt as much as I did in 4 years of lectures!

2006
And finally I got my B.E.&A.(Hons.) degree.  It was the end of an era but certainly leading to exciting times in the industry - I returned to DeMicoli's and was lucky enough to work on some of the practice's larger projects, including a 6 week stint in Libya in May 2007.  The learning curve was steep, not because of the difficulties but because in a short time I believe I reached respectable heights and I feel I will be always indebted to the office when it comes to my professional development.  First love never dies, as they say.

2007
Only until I flew to London on 22/09/07: scared and excited at the same time.  The learning at Imperial College was intensive (I distinctly recall my reaction after the first finite element analysis lecture, which I will not reproduce here for the sake of decency), but the learning on a personal level was probably several orders of magnitude bigger.  For the first time I was away from home for a reasonable length of time and this brought about new responsibilities.  It also made me aware of what it really takes to run a household and that nothing can truly be taken for granted, including finding clean laundry in the drawer!

What I also learnt not to take for granted was something even more fundamental: life itself.  The passing away of my cousin (who at merely 22 or 2 years younger than me) on 10/04/07 made me realise that the sad events of 2004 could really happen at any time and being alive is a huge privilege; life must be enjoyed to its fullness.  Amidst all the hard work at Imperial, throughout that scholastic year I did my best to live up to this whilst in London.

2008
And after 12 intensive months, it was finally over.  I got my M.Sc. and the conspicuous D.I.C., which Imperial awards to all its graduands, irrespective of gender.  My time in London was not over: I moved to Surrey and started working with an engineering consultation practice, which, in a sort of deja vu manner, proved to be a very fruitful experience as much as the postgraduate degree was.

After living in London for a year with £1 being a steady €1.50 (or rather Lm0.60 as I knew it), 2008 was also the year when the pound decided to collapse, with the 2 currencies almost being 1:1 right after I got my first pay cheque, making my earnings not any much better than what I would get at home...

2009
Which is what I did in April 2009: I packed my 100kg of belongings and got a 1 way ticket to Malta.  It was a serendipitous move: only a few months later did my girlfriend and I change our status to fiancée and fiancé, which brought about an exciting set of new activities to address.  And in the meantime, that phone call from Imperial with an offer for a funded Ph.D. due to start in October!  With all the dates set and virtually everything taken care of, I got yet another 1 way ticket to Heathrow and began another adventure, only that this time I knew I was not going to be alone for long!

2010
Everything changed after 20/03/10.  The happiest day I can think of - finally Mr. and Mrs. Micallef.  I think marriage is one of life's defining moments, probably the biggest commitment (even if, ironically, 2010 was the year Malta introduced divorce).  Till one becomes a parent of course.

Being in London for a 2 year long 'honeymoon' started as a joke but amidst all the ups and downs which would follow throughout the course of my Ph.D. and with the 2 years extended by a further 2 (or so), it was definitely an exciting period of European travel (to date: Budapest, Barcelona, Paris, Valencia, Marrakesh and Amsterdam) and the occasional U.K. trip (too many to remember!), it was (and still is) a truly remarkable experience to live the first few years of married life in a city like London...and beyond.

2011
This was the year of uprising in the Arab states but was relatively calm in the Micallef household, except that there was a major decision taken towards the end of summer when my wife was also offered to do a Ph.D., which she accepted and thus extended our temporary stay in London by at least another 2 years...

2012
Definitely one of the hardest years I can think of.  Never was I so close to quitting the bloody Ph.D. than the summer of this year.  Frustration and difficulty in finding motivation were the main culprits but thanks to the (very little) determination I had left and the (very persistent) support I received, I managed to somehow complete my work and started writing up the blessed thesis in late autumn...

It also marked another sad family-related episode: my last-surviving grandparent passed away on 15/03/12 and with nanna I bid farewell to an entire generation of my family.  Some life lessons are never taught at school, even if at the most advanced of the tertiary sort, and they are only learnt from experience.  It still remains for me one of life's dilemmas although I paradoxically believe it is God's best way of dealing with us humans, that whatever and whoever you are, the same fate awaits us all...

2013
And here we are today: my third decade of life.  This turned out to be a mini autobiography more than anything else, but I am one who finds it hard to kiss, that is, to keep it simple (no 'stupid' here for I respect you, dear reader, for having stuck till the end).  That's part of me, along the other aspects which make who I am: a son, a brother, a husband, an architect/structural engineer and a music aficionado, currently stuck in London and now truly enjoying every bit of it more than ever before.

After the long ordeal at Imperial (whose termination I found most welcome), I gave academia another chance by working as a research fellow at the University of Surrey.  To be fair, it was less stressful working scenario, albeit still productive, but...that will be in another post.

What's planned for this decade?  They say life begins at 40, so I have plenty of time left to think about what I will do in life.  Till then, the plan is to get yet another 1 way ticket to Malta and simultaneously build a new home there and a professional career, cherishing all the memories accumulated in London.  I seriously cannot imagine what I will be writing about in the period 2014-2023 but definitely will not be in a blog called "The streets of London"!